One of the biggest obstables in keeping close family ties lies within the area of PERCEPTION.
It's a common human trait to look at information an automatically form a perception based on what they take in. It could be an instinctive reaction whuch enables us to make decisions and take swift action in a given situation.
However, perception can be bad because we can form presumptions and stereotpype based on what we merely perceive.
I can think of so many examples where I've been guilty of it... as well as where I've been a victim of it... and I've witnessed so many other friends and family around me falling into the same trap.
Squabbles and quarrels between family -- because one party thought that the other had done something to hurt them, when the actual situation was completely different.
Then they feed on resentment and refuse to confront the situation because they are SO CONVINCED that they have been wronged.
Leading to emotional blackmailing... and then more resentment... and so the vicious cycle goes on and on and on...
I can say for myself that it is quite difficult to rise above the trap of perception. We are so quick to judge others and rarely stop to be objective about a situation.
Humans are by nature very self-centered creatures.
A self-absorbed person is one who:
a) Sees everything through a filter of personal cost/benefit
b) Struggles with ability to stop and really listen
c) Functions outside the challenge of team
(Excerpt from sermon by Paul de Jong)
I detest the pessimistic, narrow-visioned, small-souled, self-absorbed creature, who is too blind to see the truth.