Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Who am I, really?

I discovered this lovely poem today…

Who are you
really?

You are not a name
or a height, or a weight
or a gender
You are not an age
and you are not where you are from

You are your favourite books
and the songs stuck in your head
You are your thoughts
and what you eat for breakfast
on Saturday mornings

You are a thousand things
but everyone chooses
to see the million things
you are not

You are not
where you are from
You are
where you are going
And I'd like
to go there
too.

- Madisen Kuhn

 

Sometimes I worry that being a blogger can be a potential factor that isolates me at times. I wonder if people shy away from me because my thoughts and ideas seem too intimidating. I wonder if putting my thoughts out here makes me seem so transparent that people think this is everything I am about, so there is supposedly nothing else left to discover because they know everything about me already.

The truth is, I am more than the anecdotes and bits I share on this blog. I am more that the images on my Instagram feed. I am more that the status updates posted on my Facebook page. I am more than the cool stuff on my Pinterest boards (actually I may be less than the cool stuff on my Pinterest boards… because as we all know, everything you see on Pinterest is all simply aspirational). All that stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a whole lot more stuff going on underneath.

But maybe… just maybe… it might be that the rest of my iceberg is actually just not that interesting or likeable at all in the first place.

(Okay, scratch that last thought. That one was going a bit too dark and morbid).

Or perhaps it’s simply that I only seem uninteresting or unlikeable as a person from the outside.

By nature I am somewhat more on the introvert side of the spectrum. I enjoy company and talking to people, but in many situations I often prefer to observe first before diving in. So sometimes I suppose I can seem cold and aloof to some folks.

In actual fact, I’m actually pretty eager to spill my guts out… to someone who really and truly wants to get to know me. We just need to move past the small talk (which I am awful at), take time to sit down comfortably (preferably with some wine and chocolate) and get real.

If that doesn’t work, just follow Phoebe Buffay’s tip… run me under some hot water and bang my head against the table. That should do the trick.

Phoebe-10X16-phoebe-buffay-2981011-720-480Image Source

Rachel: Paul's a very private person. I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: You just have to think of him like a jar of pickles.
Rachel: So what am I supposed to do, run him under some hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No that’s what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.

2 comments:

  1. i enjoyed this post. =) and i enjoy you! i hate small talks as well. i tend to get awkward and nervous. also, as a mom of three, if i have time to stop to talk at all, i want to get at the soulful stuff right away. there is no time to waste on small talks. =)

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    Replies
    1. I just attended a dinner party a couple of days ago... I batted the ball of small talk for a while, but eventually found it a bit tiring. So I dove straight in and cornered someone for some one-on-one talk. I can get pretty intense with soulful conversations, but I always find them more uplifting and energizing than playful banter and small talk. I remember as youths we were good at that too... every small opportunity we had, even a short ride in a car could immediately turn deep and soulful. We four were the reigning queens of soul talk.

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