Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Keep the good ones

Even though this is my second time with a baby, it really surprised me how much I've forgotten how hard looking after a baby is.
 
I was inclined to think that Nathan was just an easier baby. Perhaps he was, I can't really remember. So I revisited some old posts from my early days with him and discovered how equally tough it was for me back then as well.
 
But following that initial discouraging period with my first baby were hundreds more beautiful photos and lovely anecdotes about parenting and our new baby and celebrating wonderful baby milestones.
 
(I think perhaps you can sense that I am slowly starting to emerge from the narrow and dark tunnel of the early weeks being broken in by a new baby.)
 
The point I'm trying to get at is this:
 
As cliché as it sounds, the joy of having children really and truly always, ALWAYS, outweighs the pain.
 
It's why there are rainbows after the rain.

It's why the pain of labour is usually always forgotten the instant the baby is laid in a mother's arms.
 
It's why my parents often can hardly remember our naughty moments, but usually only remember the happy times and how good we were (apparently) as kids.
 
It's why the the difficulties of my early weeks with Nathan have been completely wiped out from my memory, and why the fatigue and tears I have been going through recently are quickly fading from my mind.
 
All to make room for rainbow moments like this...
 
 
Whether it's a new baby, or your wedding day, or the family holiday, in the end, however many parenting books you read, or how perfectly you plan that wedding or holiday, there are bound to be some bad moments.
 
But our memory (and photo album) has a funny trick of photoshopping over everything to preserve only the smiley, happy and funny moments.
 
Because there is one thing that always helps to make it all better: 'Editing'
 
I find this best described in this speech given by Raymond (of Everybody Loves Raymond) during his brother, Robert's, wedding:
 

[...] 
Editing.

You know, Robert and I, when we remember our childhood, we kind of use that technology in our heads. We only remember the good stuff, like the food. We don't remember when mom would yell at dad not to scratch his rear end with a spatula... In the bakery.

Editing.

Yeah, anybody who knows our family probably wasn't surprised by what happened today. I mean, Amy knew what she was getting into when she married into this family, and that's why I got her a wedding gift I know she can use-- cyanide.

And by the way, Robert, if you think it was annoying today when mom interrupted the ceremony, wait till she interrupts tonight.

I think Amy understands that that's what marriage is about. I mean, she's not only getting a husband, she's getting an entire mental hospital....

[...]

...And, you know, one more thing about the editing,

I think you're gonna remember about today what you wanna remember.

You know, I guess our brains are good like that.

Like I remember my wedding day as the day that I got to kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.

I think she remembers it.

At least, I hope she does.

It was a good day, the start of a lot of good memories.

We completely blotted out the part where mom was hangin' onto my pants leg yelling "Don't go! Don't go!".

We didn't save those pictures.

Just the good ones.

Just the good ones.

So here's to my brother Robert and the best thing that ever happened to him-- my new sister Amy.

You'll keep the good ones.

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