Thursday, August 11, 2011

This side of healing

I recently found out someone I knew suffered a miscarriage. I really felt for her because I knew. I understood the bittersweetness of the experience. I understood that it is a loss that from the outside seems a small and fleeting thing, but in actual fact is much bigger on the inside than it may appear.

I had a quick glance at a few previous posts on my own experience. I shook my head over how long-winded many of them were. I guess at that time I was using this space to soak up all my bleeding thoughts.

As of today, it would be exactly three years and three days since my August 8th experience. I have not forgotten. But as the scars of my grief healed, so too had the pain.

Pain.

At that time it seemed to be the only thing left to hold onto after my butterfly had gone. Without it, the emptiness seemed too unbearable.

Most people do not wish to remember suffering. My concern is not to forget it. It is not merciful to forget; to obliterate the live sore of remembrance with creeping, bloodless scar tissue. For me always the unabated rawness, the fresh profitable spur of pain. But alas, in vain I wish, for I too shall suffer healing.

Han Suyin, A Many Splendoured Thing

Melodramatic words from Han Suyin. But I understood completely. Nevertheless, like everyone in this world, I too had to undergo the suffering of healing.

But it passed and now I am on the other side of healing. And as God promised, my joy came with the morning.

So whether you are in suffering, or healing, or hoping, or waiting. It will come to pass as all things do.

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