Monday, February 15, 2010

Classic questions

I'm home!!! Back to the land where I first entered this world.

My flight was long and dull, and I'm presently nursing a cold, suffered a splitting headache the first night after I arrived, was woken up by the neighbour's rooster crowing at 4.30am... but I consider all these things minor inconveniences for this absolutely beautiful time of just being around the people I love.

I wanted to take a snapshot of something funny that indicated where this 'home' is and post a "Guess where I am?" header... but between all the eating, and talking, and meet and greet sessions with friends, family, acquantainces, I haven't had the chance to even pull my camera out at all.

I've only been here two days, but already I've been confronted by situations which I'm already finding somewhat challenging to navigate.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present to you... the top three classic questions someone is sure to ask you after you turn 20:

Number One: When are you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Number Two: When are you getting married?

Number Three: When are you having kids?

...All classic timeworn questions, but still great favourites... All meant in harmless jest by the asker put forward in (hopefully) affectionate and/or playful tones.

I've survived through the first two tests... but I'm still trying to make the grade with the third. Sorry did I say 'test'? Maybe a better word for it is 'race'. After the exam race, the degree race, the honours race, the job race, the money race, the house race, the wedding race... there's still the baby race, the children's exam race, the children's degree race... and the cycle goes on and on...

Sometimes these playful jabs, though unitentional, may cause hurt. But the answerer can never show this. If they decide to be frank and tell it out straight as it is, they are patted on the back and told not to stress out and let it happen in God's time etc. etc. etc. The other option is to return with an equally playful or lighthearted reply to mitigate any worry or concern from the asker, in which case it will possibly be met with gentle reminders not to take it for granted, they're not getting any younger, the need to take action etc. etc. etc.

If I'm not in an especially good mood, those comments can sometimes annoy the heck out of me, because my answers would simply be: "No, I'm not" and "Yes, I know".

I sometimes feel compelled to give a reason or explanation to the questioning looks... if not out loud, at least to myself... to find fault with myself... because by doing so, I'm almost trying to grasp desperately at a hope that the solution will come when I rectify the issue I'm at fault with.

It's sometimes easier if we knew the 'why', then we can deal with the 'how'... but what does one do when there are a thousand and one possibilities to the big 'why'?

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