Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fighting Fair

With all this talk about new year’s resolutions, I started searching within me for any compelling desire to list out my own resolutions, but found none. Hubby asked me the other day whether I had thought of any and I replied that I don’t feel like setting any this year.

Initially I had thought not to bother with any this year. I mean, there’s no need to make resolutions only once a year since I make plenty of small ones along the way throughout the year anyway.

But after a few incidents for us as a couple setting a shaky start to the new year, I think it’s a good time to resolve something new on those incidences. Not just because it’s a new year (even though that helps) but because it’s good to improve oneself as well.

So I henceforth resolve to learn to ‘Fight Fair’ (on my part).

Does that strike a chord with you? Well feel free to jump on the bandwagon... I’m not at all exclusive with my resolutions. Feel free to use them as you like.

So, where to begin. Well, the easiest and most common starting point is with a good and trusty search engine. So I type in ‘Fighting Fair’ into the search engine box, click ENTER and voila! It returned 12,600,000 results, click the first one and read...

Conflict Styles

"Mad Bomber," "Smolderer," or Somewhere in Between?

[Hmmm... I think I might be somewhere in the “Mad Bomber” region. Let’s read on...]

What Kind of "Fighter" Are You?

Do You...

Avoid conflict at all costs?

Feel that any criticism or disagreement is an attack on you?
[Yes, frequently]

Hit "below the belt" and regret it later?
[Not physically]

Withdraw and become silent when you're angry?
[Not really, I usually lash it all out. Which is not good either I suppose]

Store up complaints from the distant past?

[Okay, moving on on to the “What to do” section...]

Step One: Remain Calm.
Ha! That’s easy to say. But actually actively remaining calm in the heat of a full on argument is another thing all together.

Sigh. 5 minutes into my resolution and I already seem to not be able to achieve it. Arrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!

Right. Breathe. Calm down, no need to argue with myself. Let’s take a step back and look at this objectively...

I have a theory that I have less control over my emotions right before my period. Otherwise known as PMS. (Something about the pimples that just sets me off perhaps). Anyway I recently downloaded this menstrual tracker into my phone... mainly for family planning reasons... but why not use it as a PMS tracker as well?

I’ve been having lots of fun setting reminders and notes for myself using my phone calendar. So let’s play along and see if it works. Set reminder, 2 days before next period, Subject: PMS Warning!

Let’s see how we go.

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