Sunday, August 24, 2008

The smallest corner in my heart

I am happy overall. God is good.

There's still a tiny spot in the smallest corner of my heart that still resonates with a soft sadness once in a long while. A teeny tiny thought crosses my mind... and then inside I feel something like a wrong note in a string of music, or something out of place in a beautiful picture... it's difficult to explain exactly... but just something like... a kind of raw feeling?

I reread a couple of loving messages which help soothe this rawness.

Sweet lines jotted down by Irene...

A butterfly lights
beside us like a sunbeam.
for a brief moment,
its glory and beauty
belonged to our world.
It then flies on again.
Though we wish
it could have stayed,
we are blessed
to have seen it...

And thoughts from Wini... I read the posts of your blog, I can totally feel the hope and peace you feel yet not in denial! I was not in denial when I was at peace. I cried heaps for my baby had died. It was just right to mourn.

It isn't just a lump of fetus that ceased to grow (it makes me so angry when people look at our babies that way). They are our babies. Ours... our flesh and blood, they had spirits, soul and little little bodies :)

They had feelings, they felt our love as we talked to them. They knew us as their mothers. They were human beings.

As I read your blog and how you told your babies to grow well while you eat well... it really touched my heart. Your babies heard you, and felt your love.

Therefore, they deserve to be be be cherished and to be loved like all human beings...

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