Thursday, August 09, 2007

Blue Wednesday

Yesterday was a bad day for me.

As I look back, it was not the whole day that was bad... but just that toward the end, something bad happened which put me very out of sorts.

I was on sick leave yesterday because I had bronchitis. So I stayed at home, to rest and to cough in peace. The few days before that I was already coughing quite badly at work, but I tried to suppress it a bit because I wanted to be polite so it doesn't sound so kwa-chang and offend my colleagues. If I really cannot take it, I will run off to the toilet to cough it out.

Hubby exasperatedly told me "be polite for what??? you wanna cough, just cough lar... show your boss how sick you really are, baru he tau"

I've been coughing so much until I've developed a sharp pain in my right lung muscle each time I draw in my breath to cough. Super sian man. Wanna cough, but cough also so painful. *grumble grumble*

So there I was... suffering like that all day (some more my boss wanna be so sarcastic, makes my blood boil man! cis!!!)

Then the crowning glory of the day happened at around 6pm.

I cooked dinner as usual, a pasta bake dish which was being grilled in the oven, ready to take out and serve once hubby came home.

Hubby arrived home at his usual time. The whole house was smelling nice and lovely of the pasta, melted cheese and veggies baking in the oven (plus I had mopped the floors that afternoon).

Just in time, the pasta and cheese were grilled to perfection. So I put on my oven mitts, opened the oven door and lifted out the baking tray. Ooohhh... so nice! so yummy!

As I was transfering the dish to the counter, I think at that moment I was hit with a slight lung spasm and coughing urge (I think that's what it was lar, I can't quite remember precisely because it all happened so fast).

At that spasm moment, the dish slipped out of my hands and crashed to the floor... pasta, cheese, veggies, shards of glass and everything, into a glorious mess all over the kitchen floor.

(And remember that I had just mopped the floors earlier that day too)

How to react? You tell me how?

I just stood there for a good minute. In the middle of the mess just staring in disbelief at everything.

Hubby came running in to see what the commotion was. And hubby being hubby, he just had to tack on a typical I told you so remark.

I lost it and just screamed at him that if he wasn't going to help, then to just shut up, go away and leave me alone.

So what now?

There was only one thing to do.

Clean. it. up.

So I scooped up the gooey pasta, cheese and veggies... picked up the shards of glass... wiped off the sauce and goo... got the vacuum cleaner to suck up the small bits of glass... got the bucket and mop to mop the floors all over again...

Then I made a second batch of the pasta bake with the usused pasta and put in the oven for dinner.

Because really. What else was a girl to do? Except to try and be a woman, pick herself up, and clean up her own mess.

AFTER NOTE: Upon some reflection of the above-mentioned incidence, it dawned on me that I was being a tad overdramatic about the whole thing. I resolve next time to try and be a bit more down to earth and not make a scene about matters that are in reality quite trivial when viewed in the greater scheme of things. That's a formal way of simply resolving NOT to make sucha big deal next time. There are going to be plenty more messes in the future with the onset of kids. And when accidents happen, I must learn to have the grace to say "it's okay honey, I know it was an accident and I'm sure you'll be more careful next time... let's clean up the mess together!". I know that is a high a lofty goal to aim for, but I MUST try. For the sake of my own sanity at least. If all else fails, I will simply just say to myself "Its not the end of the world!"

AFTER AFTER NOTE: This is really not me. I must be just not getting enough oxygen to my brain. In my normal healthy state I would have handled this better.

AFTER AFTER AFTER NOTE: Then again, the challenge is still to have the strength to STAY CALM even when I'm not in my best, normal, healthy state. To retain perspective on both the good days as well as the bad days. To stay calm in the midst of the storm (even on days when my right lung muscle hurts). Looks like I have long way to go... step by step lar, k?

1 comment:

  1. Sure hope you have fully recovered by now... Being ill makes one feel a bit more vulnerable and act a bt out of your normal self as you suddenly feel more helpless... At least that is what i feel when i am sick and a bit impatient with myself cos i my mind wants to do a lot of things but feel so irritated that i am hampered by a not so responsive body... maybe that is why we need to rest and disregard? what even our bosses say. Hmm, i am sure then by the time come, you would have been strethed and have the capacity and grace to handle children and all. =) And also your patient hubby will be with you. Wow, that's so blissful and blessed hor?! Cheers.


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