Sunday, November 13, 2005

Pondering...

One of my fears is that my life has been too easy so far. Sure I've faced challenges. But nothing nearly enough to say that I've been broken and humbled to the level of the contrite spirit I should be. I somehow always manage to get through (it seems) by God's grace. Is my life too ordinary? Am I taking it too slowly on Easy Street? What if my whole mediocre life is making me too shallow?

I know a number of people who overcome this by deliberately stepping out of their comfort zone into the most extreme circumstances... they dedicate an impressive number of hours every week to contribute in a ministry. Some go as far as to take a few months off for a mission trip to Cambodia or Mongolia. But is that all I'd need to do to make me a so called "deeper" person?

And as I ponder the question, I also ask "So what is the next step for me?", "What do I want to do" and "Who do I want to be" ("Do I need to go to Cambodia too?"). Pastors and preachers urge us every week to look beyond our meagre lives to see the bigger vision and contribute to it. But then I go back to my ordinary little life and everything is still the same. Besides trying to get out of the financial rat race, there are still many rat races of the soul and spirit which I struggle in. No matter where I go and what I do, everything in life still seems to be just the same.

I keep pondering... but my mind is still full of questions with no final answers.

1 comment:

  1. I have to do some thinking before commenting. Any wrong word, I might hear the news of you flying off to Cambodia before you know it !

    ReplyDelete

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